"And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:16)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Why do you want to adopt THREE kids?

I was faced with this question again recently.  It wasn’t the first time, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last.  Sadly, it is sometimes asked with doubt or ridicule, but mostly from those with sincere wonder.  When asked, I sort of freeze.  How do I even answer that question?  There is no simple answer that is going to make sense to the questioner.  Half the time it doesn’t make sense to me!  If I say, “God has called us to these kids,” we sometimes get the blank stare or rolled eyes as if we’re in a crazy cult, and I’m about to ask them to come to a worship rally where they will be asked to adopt three kids too. 

The immediate answer is “I don’t know.”  Does a mother having triplets WANT to have triplets?  I know the answer I might get to that – “Well, those are her biological kids.”  But do you really think she put in an order for 3? A woman having triplets will love and care for her children even though she never imagined having three at once.  My adopted children are no less mine than if I birthed them.

And even though my answer is “I don’t know,” here is what I do know….

*I know I met our 3 sons Wilnes, Wendy, and Woody 3 years ago this February. 
*I know when their hearts met mine I was their mama.
*I know I am scared, because parenting will be hard. 
*I know people will question our interracial family. 
*I know people will question our ability to handle this.
*I know we will not have to do this alone. 
*I know I am a good Mom.  I know Todd is a good Dad. 
*I know we love those boys so much that it just flows out my eyes most days.   
*I know we are sad, because there are three people missing from our table. 
*I know that three years of waiting has felt like ten. 
*I know my heart aches to be with them.
*I know Who holds tomorrow. 

We did not seek out to adopt three kids, so we may never have an answer for the question.  But I think what I can now answer is, “It never felt like a choice. Wilnes, Woody, and Wendy are our sons.  That is why we are adopting them.”  I mean, just look at our family picture – it sort of feels like it answers the question on its own. 

And now to the “WHEN?”  Still wishing we had an answer to that.  Even though we have moved to a very important stage of the process, we are now waiting for a signature to move forward again.   If you would like to pray with our family about this, please pray for a certain woman’s heart and hand to be swift in signing our documents for our three children.  Even with that signature it won’t be time for them to come home, but it will move us closer.

A quick update on our Christmas visit – the boys were THRILLED to decorate ornaments and a tree and have their very own stockings.  They rearranged the nativity scene every day, which I thought was pretty insightful since Baby Jesus must have had lots of visitors in and out -probably the way it feels in their creche (where they live is called a creche, which we learned is another word for nativity).  It was the first time for all of us to be together as a family since April 2011.  It felt right.  It felt peaceful.  It felt hopeful.